Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

29

Sep

antisociallysplendid:

lalagirgurl:

bluedragonkaiser:

dailylifeofadisneyfreak:

Waking up on November 1st is literally like walking through a door from Halloweentown to Christmastown

What’s this? What’s this? There’s décor everywhere. What’s this? There’s carols in the air. What’s this? I can’t believe my eyes it’s just November come on folks I mean I swear. What’s this?

I FREAKING READ IT IN JACKS VOICE 

I FUCKING SANG IT

27

Sep

(Source: markfluffyruffalo)

Socialism:
You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism:
You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation:
You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation:
You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture:
'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Apathyologism:
You have 2 cows. You do not care.
Fatalist:
You have 2 doomed cows...
Atheism:
You have 2 cows. There is no God.
A West-Country Corporation:
You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation:
You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Russia:
You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
PETA:
You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
Moffat:
You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
Hussie:
You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
Romney:
You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
Once-ler:
You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
Old Spice:
You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
An Irish Corporation:
You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr:
You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Also Tumblr:
I give you a hamburger.
Night Vale:
You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
Tom Hiddleston:
You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
Thranduil:
You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
Dwarves:
You had two cows but now they're on fire.
Bilbo Baggins:
You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
Cows:
The shit you go through.
This post:
Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

captainamericaisavirgin:

blackzephyrus:

captainamericaisavirgin:

feminism never made me hate men but the reaction to feminism sure as shit did

some men* you literally cannot hate people you’ve never met or even heard of.

oh MY GOD OH MY GOD OHH M Y GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OHHHYM GOD OH MY GOD OH MY OD OOOOOH MY GOD oh MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD O H MY GO D OH MY GOD O H M Y GO D OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

catsbeaversandducks:

Alaa, an ambulance driver, feeds cats in Masaken Hanano in Aleppo. Alaa buys about $4 of meat everyday to feed about 150 abandoned cats in Masaken Hanano, a neigbourhood in Aleppo that has been deserted because of shelling from forces loyal to Syria’s President Bashar Al-Assad. Alaa said that he has been feeding and taking care of the cats for over 2 months.

Via EURONEWS - REUTERS/Hosam Katan

(Thank you, Liousha & Tiki!)

The Angry Black Woman is a racist trope used to deny black women their humanity. Black women aren’t allowed to be complicated — they’re just angry. Black women aren’t allowed to be upset or vulnerable — they’re just angry. Black women are not allowed justifiable reactions to the myriad of bullshit — racist, sexist and otherwise — that they face. Oh, you know those black ladies are just so angry all the time.

The New York Times, Shonda Rhimes & How to Get Away With Being Racist (via americanbornterror)

this is exactly what i dealt with in school. being the angry black girl who just so happened to not have a real reason to be mad at all of the racist, sexist, homophobic bullshit that was going on around me..i was just angry for nothing…

(via black—lamb)

Someone:
Are you fucking serious?!
Remus Lupin:
*SWEATS*

(Source: fassbendor)

alfheimrs:

ironsomniac asked: Iron Man or Captain America?